We Learn More

In the course of this morning, I discovered that I had a total of 2 diapers left for Olivia. Now I could break out the stash of cloth diapers that I used in the frugal days of only having one child, but I don't really want to, being from a spoiled generation and all. Or I could give my little girl a crash course on what training panties are for. There was also the option of using up the Little Swimmers. But when Gabe came home for lunch, we decided that the best idea would be to go to Walmart and shell out more of our hard earned money for cheap imports that cheat Americans out of their jobs. Well actually, the conversation didn't go quite that deep.

So here is what I learned today on my little excursion.

Walmart parking lot+ white dress on mother+ baby blowout= no shopping.

We (Alex and I) turned around and came home, deeply grateful that I had stopped at the pharmacy first, noticed that their diapers were on sale and stocked up there. At least the shopping trip wasn't a complete washout. We did have a few items left on the list. How long do you think we can make it without milk and toilet paper?

At Least I Tried

When someone I love has a birthday, I think favorite foods, gifts, friends to party with, whatever validates that person and expresses their uniqueness. Birthdays are very important to me. When we were little, that was one day when we did not have to do any of our usual chores.

When Gabe's birthday came on a Monday after we had been gone all weekend, I wasn't sure how to make it special. He was studying all day, and since our internet wasn't working, he couldn't stay home because his assignments had to be e mailed that day. I knew that trying to make a knock out meal with a six week old baby in the house would be an exercise in frustration and futility.

My Mom came to the rescue by inviting us over for grilled chicken. Now there was a lovely birthday meal, but I still wanted to bake the annual Italian Cream Cake. I only make it once a year for Gabe's birthday for a reason. It has about 20 ingredients, some of which need separated and whipped and some that need chopped, etc. etc. Also it is baked in three layers and I only have two round pans, so that in itself is a long process of about an hour.

I kept some sanity in the cake baking by limiting the amount of children that could help in each step. Alex poured ingredients into the mixing bowl while Greg, mollified by the promise of helping with the icing, played in the back yard. Olivia and Margarite conveniently took naps.

Somewhere along the line, I got the brilliant idea to make black raspberry ice cream to complement the cake. It seemed like a nice thing to do, considering I had not managed to even buy a special card for Gabe. This would really show him my love. The only problem was that I had run out of time to cook the base so I looked for a recipe you didn't have to cook. Ahh, I found the one that came with the ice cream freezer. That should work for sure.

• Cook down the raspberries.
• Drain.
  
• Scald milk.
  
• Sugar.
  
• Cream.
  
• Raspberry sauce.

So nice and easy. I made a run to Osterburg for ice. The thought occured to me that it would be cheaper just to buy ice cream, but no, this needs to be special.

Alex and I felt very pleased with ourselves as we opened the freezer to check on our ice cream. It was a beautiful purple. We did a taste test. Wait a minute. What is this? It can't be. Surely it isn't. Yup, it is butter. I didn't know it was possible, but we did it. We made butter in an ice cream freezer, and for the life of me, I can't figure out how.

The children got a bit suspicious when I told them they can have an ice cream party right then, in the middle of the afternoon. Greg and Olivia innocently ate it down, but Alex didn't think it was good. Oh well, the cake was fabulous.

Lord, I believe...

Recently I found this beautiful prayer and it has been going through my mind over and over. It was written by Phillip Brooks and is included by Elisabeth Elliot in her book Love Has a Price Tag.

"O Lord, by all thy dealings with us, whether of joy or pain, of light or darkness, let us be brought to thee. Let us value no treatment of thy grace simply because it makes us happy or because it makes us sad, because it gives us or denies us what we want; but may all that thou sendest us bring us to thee, that, knowing thy perfectness, we may be sure in every disappointment that thou art still loving us, and in every darkness that thou art still enlightening us, and in every enforced idleness that thou art still using us; yea, in every death that thou art still giving us life, as in his death thou didst give life to thy Son, our Savior, Jesus Christ. Amen."

This exemplifies the sturdy trust of the people that we see as heroes of faith. We look at Abraham and Sarah with awe and are inspired by their commitment to follow God and believe Him, no matter what came. Sometimes we forget how normal they were, how they struggled to believe, how they even figured out ways to protect themselves by lying to the king of Egypt concerning their marital status. And yet... yet there must have been an underlying bedrock of trust in the God of Heaven. They believed God. Even when it strained their human minds, they believed. Even when their first reactions were to laugh, they chose to believe.

Is this kind of faith the "opiate of the people"? Is it a brainless religion of blindly accepting what one has been told? Unfortunately, much of modern Christianity has little root and withers away when it lacks moisture. The disillusionments of life suggest that maybe God is not good after all, so why should I believe.

That is why I love the message of this prayer so much. Yes, there are hard questions. No, life is not fair, and things often seem to go horribly wrong for God's people. Sturdy faith does not deny the questions, but pours them out honestly. And finds the solid Reality of a good Father, who loves unfailingly, who redeems my life from destruction, who crowns me with loving kindness and tender mercies.

We are going through a time of testing right now. When Margarite's newborn infant screen came back all clear, we praised God and were humbled by His goodness. However, we also sent cord blood to a different lab for extra screening and that test result has been very baffling. So now we are in a waiting period...waiting for more test results. And if that indicates that she actually does have an adrenal insufficiency, is God still good? Absolutely. It is the most solid fact of our existence, but waiting is hard. Please, stand with us in faith.