Lord, I believe...

Recently I found this beautiful prayer and it has been going through my mind over and over. It was written by Phillip Brooks and is included by Elisabeth Elliot in her book Love Has a Price Tag.

"O Lord, by all thy dealings with us, whether of joy or pain, of light or darkness, let us be brought to thee. Let us value no treatment of thy grace simply because it makes us happy or because it makes us sad, because it gives us or denies us what we want; but may all that thou sendest us bring us to thee, that, knowing thy perfectness, we may be sure in every disappointment that thou art still loving us, and in every darkness that thou art still enlightening us, and in every enforced idleness that thou art still using us; yea, in every death that thou art still giving us life, as in his death thou didst give life to thy Son, our Savior, Jesus Christ. Amen."

This exemplifies the sturdy trust of the people that we see as heroes of faith. We look at Abraham and Sarah with awe and are inspired by their commitment to follow God and believe Him, no matter what came. Sometimes we forget how normal they were, how they struggled to believe, how they even figured out ways to protect themselves by lying to the king of Egypt concerning their marital status. And yet... yet there must have been an underlying bedrock of trust in the God of Heaven. They believed God. Even when it strained their human minds, they believed. Even when their first reactions were to laugh, they chose to believe.

Is this kind of faith the "opiate of the people"? Is it a brainless religion of blindly accepting what one has been told? Unfortunately, much of modern Christianity has little root and withers away when it lacks moisture. The disillusionments of life suggest that maybe God is not good after all, so why should I believe.

That is why I love the message of this prayer so much. Yes, there are hard questions. No, life is not fair, and things often seem to go horribly wrong for God's people. Sturdy faith does not deny the questions, but pours them out honestly. And finds the solid Reality of a good Father, who loves unfailingly, who redeems my life from destruction, who crowns me with loving kindness and tender mercies.

We are going through a time of testing right now. When Margarite's newborn infant screen came back all clear, we praised God and were humbled by His goodness. However, we also sent cord blood to a different lab for extra screening and that test result has been very baffling. So now we are in a waiting period...waiting for more test results. And if that indicates that she actually does have an adrenal insufficiency, is God still good? Absolutely. It is the most solid fact of our existence, but waiting is hard. Please, stand with us in faith.

Margarite Elise

She finally came, one week late, but ever so worth the wait!

Margarite Elise Peight
Born June 2, 2009 at 1:50 AM
Weight: 7 lb. 8 oz.
Length: 20 inches

This was the longest we ever went overdue, but she was our smallest baby and the birth was probably the best yet. In those long days of waiting, there were many times of giving our preferences and our baby to God. In His time, she came and we praise Him for His care over us! He is faithful and good! Always.

The difference between the first and the fourth baby is evident when you consider that I have not even managed to post a blog announcement until the baby is five days old, whereas for the first one, I had all the birth announcements in the mail by the time he was three days old!

But here she is, at last, and we love her with all our hearts.

Livvy Gracie

I forgot to add this photo to my last post. She is just unbelievably squishy and sweet. And busy. We kind of like her.

Here it is! The new toy for Gabe. The small fry are convinced we got it for the sole purpose of giving them rides.


And here is a reminder from God to us that He will never lose track of us. Can you imagine? One of these sparrows will not fall to the ground without Him seeing it. How much more valuable are we? I like to check on these fledglings in our shrub and just think about the amazing fact that our God is great enough to tenderly care for us all.




And lastly, some "eye candy". This picture just tickles me and I thought you might enjoy it too.

Small Boys and Their Toys

This year the landscaping that I have babied and weeded and fertilized and trimmed and mulched for about 5 years is really repaying my work by blooming and growing vigorously. I love gardening, especially ornamental stuff.

One morning this past week, my very busy sons had an especially energetic stirring of creativity. They made a huge puddle with water and mud and pretty much anointed themselves with the smeary stuff, so I had forbidden them to come into the house until I had time to clean them up. I blithely finished my project inside the house, and stepped outside to check on their activities. Imagine my pained surprise to discover that they had turned into nesting birds on the front porch. The nest consisted of a butchered pampas grass that had been the cornerstone of my landscaping. Around it were strewn many clematis buds for food. There were plastic eggs in the nest and the birds also felt compelled to make wings and tails out of hemlock boughs. It was actually kind of cute in a destructive kind of way. Thankfully they had enough pricking of conscience to do most of their picking on the back sides of the plants. So you can't really see the damage, except for my poor pampas grass, which is reduced from a glorious round bunch to a skinny, straggly plant.




There are days when I think wistfully of "Farmer Boy" and his sun-up to sun-down chores with his father right beside him. Oh, he had a grand life, but just not as much time to get into mischief as the modern small boy. Since school is out and the warm weather has come, Alex and Greg are out the door as soon as their chores in the house are done. Which is great, mostly... They only get those clever ideas once a week or so, and usually they are harmless enough, like building space ships in the back yard or rearranging all the swings on the playset so they have a jungle gym.

Nevertheless, I was delighted with the brilliant purchase Gabe made at a yard sale this weekend. Three cases of K'NEX!!! Hundreds and hundreds of pieces to make amazing stuff. They have afforded hours and hours of play already during the rainy spots of the last few days. They are a super way to get the creative juices used up in a constructive way. Nate, you would absolutely love them. Come play with us! ...Just don't step on the connectors barefooted.

Mom's Day

Here's our annual Mother's Day picture, with 3.95 children all ready for church. I feel so blessed and honored to be their mother, although a bit overwhelmed at times. It is probably a good thing that they don't know how often I feel like I don't really know what I am doing! I have discovered that most of my fellow moms feel the same way. Just as soon as you get one stage about figured out, you hit another one. I need much wisdom, on a daily basis... and how I honor my own mother for her years "in the trenches" and all that she poured into my life when I had no clue how much she was actually doing for me.

I have discovered that a sense of humor is a great way to deal with some of the everyday crises that mothers face in caring for their offspring. And since I like "you might be" lists, I have collected my own. Some of these I e mailed to my friends, and some are their contributions.

You Might Be a Mother...

...if you know that a band-aid and a kiss are better than a doctor most days.
...if you don't flinch when your child uses his shirttail for lack of a tissue.
...if you can meditate in the same room as a toddler with a xylophone.
...if you can enjoy reading "The Biggest Bear" for the twentieth time.
...if you can see the eternal value of wiping things all day long.
...if you have little teeth marks on your chap stick.
...if you plunge things deep down under other stuff in the trash can to keep them from being rescued.
...if you absentmindedly eat the food you just scraped off your baby's mouth with the spoon, and hope nobody else at fellowship meal noticed.
...if you can keep a straight face and sympathize with a child's distress at not being able to get his buttons into their cracks.
...if you consider it all in a day's work when there is panic in the bathtub.
...if you feel vaguely hungry at 3:00 P.M. and realize that you fed everyone but yourself at lunchtime.
...when you scrape the syrup off your child's plate onto your French toast because you can't stand seeing it go to waste. contributed by Ellen Stoltzfus
...when you can recover after seeing your child dip a spoonful of toilet water to drink. E.S.
...if you have dandelion and chickweed bouquets for a centerpiece on your table. contributed by Wilma Schlabach, one of the most joyful mothers ever, who went to be with Jesus 6 mo. ago
...if you carry stuff in your purse like bits of colored paper and strands of doll hair. W.S.
...if you hardly ever go to the bathroom without someone knocking on the door and wondering if you are in there. W.S.

and lastly,

...if you scorn the world's idea of fulfillment and choose to make a lifework out of the oldest and noblest of professions for women, you might be a mother!

Blessings to all the other ladies out there who have encouraged me in my career! If you think of more good "you might be's..." leave them in the comments! Go ahead, make my day!

The Tyranny of Things

No one has ever catagorized me as a sentimental person. I don't tend to hang onto stuff because of the feeling it gives me. When my dried roses become too dusty, I pitch them. If my favorite piece of pottery smashes, I don't glue it; I throw it away. Of course, there are exceptions to this, and I save special things the children make, scrapbook their pictures, and journal the milestones in life. I have a very special mug that Gabriel gave me during our courtship. When the handle broke off, I saved the mug and use it to store chapsticks. I am not totally devoid of the feminine impulse to cherish stuff!

But here is what I really do. I save things. I think maybe I will need it someday, so I squirrel it away. And I like to feel frugal and repurpose that old pair of jeans, those baby food jars, or that magazine with nice pictures. The necessity of making space for a sixth person in our small house helped me see just how much of a pack rat I can be. I have been rearranging furniture, going through closets, spring cleaning and finding stuff that I haven't used in ages. A bottle of lotion that I bought before we got married, over seven years ago. I never used it because I hated it, but I have faithfully stored it! Old worn clothing that I thought would make good rags in a puppy box, or something like that. Too many books that we never read, picked up at second hand stores, with titles like "How Is My First Grader Doing in School?"

It has been revealing and amusing for me to go through the house and purge. My tendency to save stuff has nothing to do with a past childhood of want or neglect, let me hasten to say! I think it is genetic, like my Grandpa who saved glass insulin empties since about 1982, according to the labels on the bottles. And my Dad who can't chuck an old National Geographic into the trash can. And my Grandma, who washes her plastic wrap. And my Great Grandma who went out after Halloween and rolled up the toilet paper that the rowdy kids had used to decorate her yard. It must be hard wired into me.

But I believe that this can also be what Tozer called "the tyranny of things". When God made the world, with all of its beauty and blessings for us to enjoy, He simply called them "things". They were meant to be useful, to enhance our lives, but never to occupy the huge space that they so often do. We are created to enshrine God in our hearts, and keep His gifts to us outside, where they belong.

I have been helped in culling through our stuff, to remember that if something is merely cluttering up our lives, it is holding us in a sort of tyranny that we do well to break.

...Does anyone out there want a bunch of cassette tapes of long ago messages? Speak up within the week!